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Maurice - Thank you.

Prof - Hall, come over here please.

Maurice - Sir?

Prof - Come on. Have a good send-off?

Maurice - Yes sir, thank you sir. Mr Abrahams gave me a picture "The light of the world", fellows have given me a set of Guatemalas ( up two dollars ). The ones with the parrot and the pillar on them. Look, sir.

Prof - Oh, splendid, splendid. And what did Mr Abrahams say to you? That you were a miserable sinner, I hope.

Maurice - Mr Abrahams said that I must do anything I'd to be ashamed to do in front of my mother. He said my next school will be more like the world.

Prof - Did he? Did he? What's the world like, do you suppose?

Maurice - I don't know sir, I'm a boy.

Prof - do you have any older brothers, Hall?

Maurice - No, sir. only Kitty and Ada. They're my sisters, sir.

Prof - No unclease?

Maurice - No, sir. there's Dr Barry. He knew my father before he dies.

Prof - So you don't really know a great many grown up fellows?

Hall - No, not really sir. Mother keeps a coachman and George for the garden but, of course you mean gentlemen.

Prof - I'm going to talk to you for a few moments as if I were your father. It isn't anything your mother could say. Do you see? Your body is about to experience various changes, physical changes. Now, Mr Abrahams has explained to you that in the beginning God creates man and woman, that the earth should be peopled abundantly.

Maurice - Yes sir. Sir? What changes?

Prof - I speak Hall, of the sacred mystery of sex, the act of procreation, between a man and his wife. The procreation, indeed of allcreepingthing. you will discover that your membrum virilis..that's latin, the vir.

Maurice - Vir, sir. Means man, sir.

Prof - Very good, very good. Look this might be easier if I.. that, that thing. There, that will develop and grow larger, you see?

And when that happens the man lies very very close to his wife and he puts his membrum virilis into her vagina, thus. Then, in due course, she will bring forth his child. Seminiferous tubules, labia, major and minor, ducts, vulva. That, that is the very crown of life, Hall. God's wondrous purpose. Your body is his temple. You must never, ever pollute that temple. And when, as one day I'm sure you will, you'll fall in love and marry, you will discover to serve and protect woman and have children by her is life's chiefest glory.

Hall - Yes, sir.

Prof - You must never, ever mention any of this to your mother or, indeed, to any lady, if at your next school the fellows mention it, shut them up, tell them you know.

Hall - I think I shan't marry.

Prof - What? ( laughs ) in ten years to the day I invite you and your wife to dine with me and my wife as our guests. What do you say?

Hall - Oh sir.

Prof - It's a bargain, then?

A nun - Oh God, those infernal designs!

Hall - Sir, won't they be all right? The tide will have cover them by now.

Prof - Oh yes, the rising tide. I only hope to God he is right.


Michealmas term - 1909 Cambridge.

Man - Wagner is utter rubbish. Fat women with horns singing how happy they are to be dying. It's horrible and unhealthy

Man - Music is about death. Always has been. He's trying to provoke us. Go on Risley, enlighten us.

Risely - A superior mind wouldn't be enlightened. Music is the highest of the arts. It needs no reference to the urative or the corporeal. It is, of all the arts, the closest to death. Wagner is by no means unhealthy. He is merely expressing exactly the state of things.

Dean - Help yourselves to potatoes, Hall.

Chapman - I can't stand music or concert halls. I don't go in for being superior.

Risely - Don't you? I do.

Dean - Come Chapman, you're in need of food.

Chapman - I expect Lord Risely isn't. I've put him off with my low talks.

Risely - I simply can't think of a reply to that.

Dean - What about saying nothing?

Risely - Nothing? Horrible, he must be mad.

Hall - What you do is more important than what you say. Your deeds are more important than your words.

Risely - What is the difference? Words are deeds. Are you saying these talks in the dean's room have done nothing for you. Will you, for instance, ever forget that you've met me?

Dean - you're confusing what is important with what is impressive. Chapman and Hall will always remember they've met you.

Risely - Exactly because of my conversation. They will forget that they were eating a cutlet.

Dean - The cutlet does them some good. You do not.

Risely - I mean, dean, a cutlet merely influences their subconscious life. I, by my words shape the consciousness I am, therefore, not only more impressive than the cutlet, but infinitely more important. Your dean dwells on superstitious clouds of Christian self-righteousness, your dean pretends that only insensate faith has any significance and daily he droops soporific into his soup.

Dean - Oh Risely shut up. Come on.

Hall - A man with ideas like that should have the courtesy to keep them to himself.

Risely - No, no. One must talk, talk, talk. It's by talking we shall caper upon the summit. Otherwise the mountains will overshadow us. I'm sure Hall, you will agree.

They go out.

Risely - Wait! I'm eager to hear more of your interesting ideas about words and deeds. My rooms are in trinity, and I've a dining club whose members would, if I'm not mistaken, interest you. You don't need to bring your chum.

Chapman - Oh well, you're not going. Aren't you?

Maurice - salutations Risely. You've bargained for more than you have gained. Risely. You've bargained for more than you have gained. Salutations.


(knock on door)

Clive - Come in. Hello!

Maurice - You're Durham, aren't you?

Clive - yes.

Maurice - I was looking for Risely. And you don't know where he is?

Clive - He's debating at the union. I was just stealing his pathetic symphony, I'm reading a paper on Tchaikovsky but I cannot find the third movement. If it's here which I don't think it is. Fetherstonhaugh's got a pianola.

Maurice - I know his rooms are directly above mine.

Clive - Oh. I'll come back with you. You're are  in college now??????

Maurice - Beginning my second year.

Clive - I'm third. I've seen you, though. Hall, isn't it?

Hall - if Risely is not coming perhaps I'd better get back.

Clive - I didn't know you knew Risely. I little of him goes very long way.

Hall - You like this music?

Clive - I'm afraid I do, yes. Sweet water from a foul well as they say.

Hall - A good waltz is more my style.

Clive - Mm. Mine, too, really. I'll come with you, instead.

Hall - Give me some of those to carry.

Clive - That's all right.

Hall - Give.

( tchaicowsky' music )

Clive - This bit gets a bit mad.

Fetherstonhaugh - Hall, you should be in this half. You should get as far away from the machine as you can.

Hall - Play it again, if Fetherstonhaugh doesn't mind.

Clive - You can play it again, it is a movement you have to get right to the end.

Clive - I'm going to eat one of your apples. It's Sophocles? Mm read it for the characters rather than the author. Much more interesting.


Clive - Much too fast Hall. No, no slower. Otherwise you will tear it.

Hall - this movement isn't as a jolly. Is it?

Clive - No.

LENT TEM - 1910

(Clive) - Appalling vac. I nearly wrote to you about it. My mother flung the cat about because I wouldn't go to the communion on Christmas day. I'm unorthodox, I'm not a Christian. It was imperative. I made a stand.

Hall - It is a difficult question.

Chapman - Hall come down to the buttery. Hello Durham. Halladay' s been give a case of hock. He has asked for us.

Hall - I'm sorry Chapman. Not now we're fixing something.

Chapman - I see. Sorry. Well, perhaps we'll see you later, then.

Clive - Have you know Chapman long?

Maurice - Five years here in the school.

Clive - Give me a cigarette, would you? I mean you've got a mother and sisters. All the way through that row. I was thinking what you have done.

Maurice - My mother never makes a row about anything.

Clive - You've never done anything she would not approve. I expect, you never will. I'm disgusted with mine. I despised her character there. I've told you something no one else in the world knows.

Maurice - Won't tell.

Clive - tell me about your home life.

Maurice - Nothing to say we just go on.

Clive - Lucky devils.

Maurice - Rotten vac. Eh ?

Clive - Yes it was. Misery and hell. What are you doing?

Maurice - Misery and hell? Eh?

Clive - No, no Maurice, please I've got to go, I've got to go. I've got a lecture.

Maurice - Why don't you go, then, if you are going?

Clive - Because I can't.

Maurice - You think I don't think but I can tell you.

" . .every human soul has at sour stage . beheld an excellent being. Otherwise it would not have entered into the creature we call man. When the soul gazes upon..the beauty of that being its beloved, it is nurtured and warmed and is glad".

Professor - Fetherstonhaugh continue please.

Fetherstonhaugh - " when the beloved has made him welcome . and began to enjoy this conversation and . society, when their intimacy is established and the loved one has grown used to be near his friend and touching him in the gymnasium and elsewhere.

( chuckles ). The current which Zeus in love with Ganymede, called the stream of longing.."

professor - Omit the reference to the unspeakable vice of the Greeks

Fetherstonhaugh - oh, yes sir. " he is experiencing a counter love, a reflection of the love he inspires and he thinks of it as friendship, not love, though, like his lover, he feels a desire to see, to touch, to kiss him".


Risely - The unspeakable vice of the Greeks. The hypocrisy. He ought to lose his fellowship.

Clive - Oh, come on. It's a point of pure scholarship, all the Dean understands is the physical act. I'm not advocating that.

Risely - Cold as a fish on a marble stab.

Clive - Shut up. I'm trying to make a serious point. A masculine love of physical beauty and moral beauty and the beauty of the thirst for human knowledge omit that and you've omitted the mainstay of Athenian society. It is as if our benighted dean hadn't even read the Symposium. You read it hall?

Maurice - You've missed the point. You've to maintain standards of decency.

Clive - not if they're propped up by 10th hand opinion, typical of you.

Maurice - Western civilization is run on the principles of Christ's doctrines, not Plato's body essence.

Risely - But Christ's doctrines are open to all sort of interpretations

Maurice - Well you know, the redemption.. the trinity..

( laughter )

" . Three in one and one in three

ruler of the earth and the sea . "

Maurice - Damn Christ's doctrines . I can't prove that but they mean a lot to millions of people

Clive - I did actually say 6 o' clock.

Maurice - You made me walk out of the chapel

( church bells )

Maurice's mother - I just don't understand it. Your father always went to church.

Maurice - I can't help it, Mother. I'm made that way. It's no use arguing. Beside I'm not my father.

Mother - Morrie! What a thing to say.

Kittie - But he isn't. really, Mother come on.

Mother - Kittie we're talking about things not suited and you're perfectly wrong, besides. Morrie is the image of his father, Dr Barry said so.

Maurice - Dr Barry doesn't go to church himself.

Mother - Dr Barry is a most clever man and so is Mrs Barry.

Kittie - Imagine Mrs Barry being a man.


(Maurice) - Have you been all right?

Clive - Have you?

Maurice - No!

Clive - You wrote that you were.

(Chapman) - Hall, Hall.

Maurice - I'm here.

Chapman - We want tea. Glorious match. We're absolute heroes. Peterhouse are abject. Wonderful wicket-keeping.

Boy - Don't you have any Darjeeling? I don't like this Chinese bilge. It was a marvellous match. If not for my two catches, it would have been different.

Chapman - just dropped them into the grass. Too easy.

Clive - Hall?

Maurice - Durham, where did you get to?

Clive - I know you read those books.

Maurice - How do you mean?

Clive - You'll understand, then, I don't have to explain.

Maurice - Understand what?

Clive - That I love you.

Maurice - Don't talk rubbish.

Maurice - Durham, Durham come back!

(Bells ring)

Clive - (prayer in Latin)

(all) - Amen.

Maurice - Clive you're bloody hard. To have a mind in a mess makes you very hard.

Clive - Oh Hall don't be stupid. You must know to be alone with you hurts me.

Maurice - Oh, no..

Clive - No, please don't reopen it. It's over.

Maurice - I'm in hell.

Clive - You'll get out. It's only disgust. You haven't done anything to be ashamed of. You don't know what hell is really like.

Maurice - I thought it was the worst crime in the calendar, the one subject absolutely beyond the limit.

Clive - Look you've been thoroughly decent from 1st day to last so decent that I mistook your friendliness. I thought it was something else. I'm sorry to have insulted you.

Maurice - Durham I love you . in your very own way.

Clive - Rubbish as you so rightly said. Good night.

Maurice - I do. I think I've always..

Clive - Look. It's like the good, blundering creature that you're to try to comfort me but there are limits. I'm thankful it was into your hands I fell. Most men would have reported me to the Dean or the police.

Maurice - Damn you, Durham !

Maurice enters Clive's room.

Clive - Maurice.

Maurice - I love you.

Dean - Hall?

Clive - It's the Dean.

Dean - Don't you have a lecture?

Maurice - I overslept

Dean - Hall, stop when I talk to you.

Clive - Do you realize I would have gone through my life half awake if you'd had the decency to leave me alone?

Maurice - Why me? Perhaps we woke up each other.

Clive - No.

Maurice - Can't you kiss me?

Clive - I think it would bring us . I think it would bring us down. I think it would spoil everything. This harmony, body, mind and soul. I don't think women have even guessed. But you know.

Dean - why didn't you stop when I called you? Yesterday you cut chapel, four lectures including my own translation in class. And, Hall you've done this sort of thing before. It's unnecessary to add impertinence, don't you think? Very well, I'm sending you down. You will catch the 12.00. unless you write me a letter of apology, I shall not recommend your readmission into this college in October.

Maurice - If it had been a girl into the sidecar Cornwalls would never have kicked up a stink. Everyone cuts lectures. I've done nothing wrong. I refuse to say that I have.

Clive - what will you do?

Maurice - Got into the stock market like Father did. I don't need one of their rotten degrees.

Clive - You'll come to Pendersleigh? Goodbye.

Dr Barry - Not quite what you've expected, eh?

Maurice - Dr Barry, not quite as anyone expected. Still these past few weeks it's become apparent to me. That it's time a man was here to held this household again.

Dr Barry - It's all for the best. What do you want with a degree? They were never meant for the suburban classes. I mean you won't to become a parson, a barrister, a pedagogue. You're not a country gentleman. It's a waste of time. The City is your place. Absolutely right to insult the Dean.

Maurice - If anything, I've been insulted by him. Treated like a schoolboy.

Dr Barry - Your mother does not understand how you feel. She is worried because you don't apologise. To my mind these things work themselves out. You see, you got yourself into an atmosphere for which you were not suited. You properly took the first chance to get out.

Maurice - How do you mean?

Dr Barry - Is it no so clean? I mean that a gentleman would have apologise by instinct if he had found that he'd behaved as you did.

Maurice - I think it's time I turned in.

Dr Barry - How dare you bully your mother? Maurice you ought to be a horsewhipped, swearing, abating her. She comes to me with tears in her eyes and asks me to say something.

Maurice - But .

Dr Barry - I want none of your speech. You're a disgrace to chelevrey. I'm disappointed and disgusted with you.

Mother - We look forward so to May week.

Kittie - Stop crying, it only makes him think he is important. He will write to the Dean as soon as no one wants him to.

Maurice - Kittie I won't.

Kittie - I don't see why you should not.

Maurice - Little girls don't see a great deal.

Kittie - More than little boys who think they're little men.


Miss Sheepshanks - that's very complimentary. Thank you. Skeggs. Olivia.

Olivia - Wolly, dear.

Miss Sheepshank - I think everyone should curtsey. I've had an interesting talk with Mr Hall and isn't Clive handsome?

Clive - Mother, this is Maurice Hall.

Maurice - how do you do!

Olivia - It's so lovely to see you.

Clive - Leave those. Come on. Remember that if my mother or sister ask you to do this and that tomorrow, say yes if you want but you will actually ride with me and they may know it.

Maurice - But I haven't brought riding breeches.

Clive - Well, then, I can't associate with you in that case. Deep breath.

Pippa - You must be Mr Hall? I'm Pippa Durham, Clive's sister. May I introduce to you Mr London? Mr Hall..

Mr London - How do you do! Archie London. I'm the lucky devil who's to marry her.

Pippa - I'm commandeering troops for canvassing tomorrow.

Clive - Stop bullying.

Pippa - Are you interested?

Maurice - Certainly, I'd be delighted.

Pippa - Good, mama Mr Hall is sound.

Mother - Does Mr Hall know his room?

Pippa - The blue moon.

Mother - Poor man.

Clive - The one with the smocking fireplace. Simcox!

Maurice - Where you did come from?

Clive - the old schoolroom. Our study. That's why you're in this dog's misery.

(knock on door)

Clive - Come. It's as much like college as I could make it. Look at the view, though. There you may shoot rabbits from this window.

Maurice - It's folly for me coming here.

Maurice - This place won't seem the same again. I should love it at last.

Waitress - Anything else, sir?

Clive - No, thank you. That's all.

Maurice - We're up the staircase by ourselves.

Clive - We need never be in any other part of the house. Apart from meals. I'll leave you to unpack.

Mrs Durham - I hope you can find enough to amuse yourself.

Wolly - But we dressed and came down to find water lapping at the foot of the staircase and all the waiters wearing green leather waders.

Mother - This house is his. Did he tell you?

Hall- No he didn't.

Mother - Yes it is under my late husband will. I must move to the Dower House as soon as he marries. A fourth year at Cambridge would little profit a joke like Clive. He must take his place here in the countryside. There's the game to consider, other tenants, his duties as a magistrate. Unless there's a war, there's political future. He ought to spend the year travelling instead. He must see America and, if possible, the Colonies.

Hall - He speaks of travelling. He wants me to go with him.

Mother - I trust you will, but not Greece, mr Hall. That's travelling for pleasure. Dissuade him from Greece.

Hall - I'd prefer America.

Mother - Naturally. Anyone sensible would. Pippa says he writes verse. Have you seen any? Mr Hallis there someone? Some Newnham girl? Pippa declares there is.

Hall- Pippa had better ask, then.

Pippa- Did I hear my name, Mr Hall?


Clive- Damn. Damn. It's locked.

the Goblin House. My grandfather's grandfather built it. I locked Pippa for a whole day once when we were small.

(rattling noise)

(man)- Ashbury's Ordinaries are up 1/8. 3 and 7/8. 4 and 3/8.

Hall- what's Barclay Perkins doing?

Man- mmmdebit 1. 8,719. gas staged a recovery.

Hall- ha.    THE CITY 1911

Man- what about Alliance in Dublin?

Man- alliance in Dublin Consumers' Orders? That'll do.

Man- up 2.

(Mrs Durham)- perhaps dear Mrs Hall, when Clive has finally completed and, pray heaven, passed his bar examinations ,would Ada not like to come down and stay with us here at Pendersleigh? I do declare that our sons find amusement in the friendship of our two families. But Ada is such an attractive and good-natured girl. Although Clive regard his weekends in town as sacrosanct, I'm sure that he, too, could be enticed down.

I'm writing to Mrs Hall. I thought Ada might like to stay.

Grandmother - Isn't her grandfather leaving her a lot of money? An excellent bride for my godson.

Woman - Perhaps Clive doesn't want to marry yet. (baby crying)

Mrs Durham- would you be so good as to post this? uh.. what's your name?

Scudder- Scudder, madam.

(Mrs Hall)- All is snug in our house, Mr Durham, now that Maurice is living at home after so long away. Each day he eats a vast breakfast and then catches the 8:36. He returns at 4:59 and lays down the law. He has developed under your son's influence, into far more of a personage than we had expected.

One hardly begrudges him the time he spends as Clive's guest in London.

Is Clive not fortunate to have a London house now, as well as beautiful Pendersleigh Park? I do confess that I'm looking forward to meeting their amusing their amusing London set, pictures of some of whom we see in the illustrated newspapers here at dull Alfriston Gardens.

(Woman) I concentrated on the tips of his moustache!

Clive - Might I have a cigarette?

Woman - Won't Maurice moustache be the making of him?

Clive - No. It's revolting.

Maurice - Thank you.


Woman - You cavalrymen, you see must have legs so straight that they can hold a sixpence between their legs, all the way up.ankles, calves, knees, thighs.

Man- Not only a sixpence, is it, love?

Woman - The ends has to meet.

Man- The price of your beer, no wonder.

Risely - He will never do it

Man - Give a man his due


(men) - Once I was a pure country lad till I took the Queen's shilling. Now it seems I've turned out bad

(cheers and applause)

woman - Little twank. I suppose it's pints all round, gentlemen?

Guard - Get him! Come on.

Risley - No!

Policeman - Come here, you!

Policeman - Come along.

Risley - Would you give me my hat?

Risley - I thought that if I plead guilty, there will be less publicity.

Clive - If I were to give you a testimonial, i would be a sitting duck to any prosecution.

Risley - Yes, I see that. I realise it might compromise your positionto be seen to be associated with me. I quite understand that. Good nigth, Clive.

Clive - Good night.

Clive - Maurice

Maurice - Where have you been? You all right? Clive?

Clive - Yes, thank you Maurice. I'm fine. Please don't nanny me.

Judge - The defendant is a man of breeding, who, rather than setting an example, has attempted the corruption of his social inferior. He is a man of considerable learning, who has taken advantage of the gullibility and the baser passions of his intellectual inferior. Lord Risley, your guiltr has been unquestionably proven before this court. As you are no doubt aware, I'm empowered to sentence you to imprisonment with flogging. However, in view of the promising career in politics which has been terminated by your disgrace, and in view of the position in society which you have forfeited I am inclined to leniency in sentencing you to six months' imprisonment with hard labour. Silence!

I'm satisfied that you will pay for this for the rest of your life.

Take him down.


(women) - mr Durham!

(maurice) - a wit, a poet

(woman)- breeding!

(maurice)- breeding. And nowlegal legislator!

Clive Durham, a barrister at Arles!

(Mrs Hall) - clive Durham, our honoured friend.

(Maurice) - barrister at law.

(All) - Mr Durham!

(Mrs Hall) - to the most marvellous evening.

(Maurice) - come, come. On your feet, Clive!

(Mrs Hall) to the Durhams of Pendersleigh Park.

Clive - oh, I'm going to faint.

Mother - Morrie, quickly.

Maurice - Clive. Kitty, get a pillow. Ada, brandy. Mother.

Mother - What is it?

Maurice - fan him.

Mother - morrie, what is it?

Maurice- no. Fan, fan, fan him!

Clive - oh sorry, silly to

(Mrs Hall)- oh.

Clive - I'm all right.

Mrs Hall - certainly not. Maurice will carry you.

Clive is sobbing

(mrs Hall) - oh, dear. Try and put your arms around Morrie

Maurice - old man, up you come

Clive - that's it.

Maurice - put your arm up around me.

Clive - sorry.

Maurice- the doctor somebody telephone him.

Clive - sorry, Morrie I'm a fool.

Mother - do be careful, Morrie. It's rather hot.

Maurice- Mother, you needn't tell the others I kissed Durham. He would not like it.

Mother - no, of course not.

Maurice - I was upset and did it without thinking. As you know we are great friendsrelations almost.

Sister - the doctor is here.

Maurice - Where should I put the water bottle?

(clive) - you mustn't do this sort of thing. You mustn't because it is filthy.

Maurice - it does not worry me. I don't say this just to please you. Carry on all night as far as I'm concerned. The doctor is coming up.

Clive - he will see me like this. (knock on door)

Maurice - I hope he does. Sorry to call you so late. Just cure me this chap. He fainted at dinner.. and he can't stop crying.

Doctor - have you been working hard?

Clive - yes.

Maurice - now he says he is going to Greece.

Doctor - you clear out now. I told your sisters none should come in here.

Maurice - my sisters, yes. I'm looking after him.

Doctor- you equally. A nurse will come.

Maurice - why is everything done in such a damned hurry?

Doctor - thought a nurse might amuse him.

Maurice - can't we amuse him? I can nurse him myself.

Doctor- we will have you wheeling the baby next.

Maurice - I beg your pardon?

Clive - I suppose I ought to have the nurse.

Maurice - right. She can make you more comfortable than I can.

Maurice - Pendersleigh today?

Mother - yes.

Maurice - Mother, he can't stand. What does Jowitt say?

Mother - that's he is well enough to leave. Maurice -  Keep him there! I will get the 1:40. someone has to talk sense to you people. Good bye.

Mother - Shall I send a car?

Maurice - I will get a cab at the station.

Clive - thank you. Thank you very much for being so kind.

(woman) - we have enjoyed having you here.

Maurice - you are far too ill to travel.

Clive - I can't go on being such a bore to your family.

Maurice - Don't be absurd.

Clive - Mother, Mother get in.

All- goodbye, goodbye.

Clive's mother - I will tell Cook.

The butcher - terrible affair about Viscount Risley, sir. And him a Parliamentary Private Secretary, too. I did read he was at Cambridge. Like yourself, sir.

Clive - you will never mention that subject again, Simcox, while you remain in employment here.


(Clive) - I have become a barrister to enter public life. But why should I enter it? Who wants me?

Mrs Hall - your mother says the country does

Clive - I've talked to more people. And I tell you no one wants us or anything expect a comfortable home

Woman - to give people a comfortable home is what public life is for.

Clive - is or ought to be?

Woman - it is all the same

Mrs Hall- Is and ought are not the same

Clive - quite right Mrs Hall

Woman - you sound like you have no use whatsoever for Greece.

Maurice - It sounds out of repair. Heap of old stones without paint.

Sister - We shall know what it is if you fall over this time Mr Durham

Clive - Your health and the health of all the ladies. Maurice, come. The ladies.

Maurice - The ladies.

Man - The ladies.

(Maurice) - "Dear Clive, still no words from you, so here is my news. I'm practicing a regimen of severe self-discipline, our Wednesdays and our weekends i spend in the darkest reaches of Bermondsey with the dockers' lads at the mission. It is a far cry from our metropolitan pleasures. I'm supposed to be teaching them the gentle art of boxing. More often than not, I get the pummelling. preferable to the pummelling you gave me at Wigmore Hall. Most other evenings I spend working through that reading list you once gave me. Clive I'm so worried at not hearing from you. I get no sleep for fear that you have fallen ill again. I have looked out your connections and I would expect you back by Tuesday week. I don't tell you how much I miss you".

Sister - Mr Durham. Maurice is away tonight on business.

Clive - Oh no. Where is going?

Sister - Don't ask me. We know even less about him than when you were last here. He keeps everything so secret. Mother, Ada! Mr Durham is back from Greece. What was Greece like?

Clive - Rather disappointing, I'm afraid. It is not what I had expected.

Ada - Why didn't you let us know? We would have had a real English dinner.

Clive - Don't worry I can't stay

Mrs Hall - Oh no Mr Durham you must stop the night. We have missed you. Haven't we? Maurice said you'd be back last week. He was so disappointed.

Ada - We can practice on you. We have join an ambulance class. Dr Barry says there will be a war soon.

Clive - You sounds just like Maurice.

Ada - It is because I have cold.

Mrs Hall - No you do have the same voice and nose and the mouth, too. And also his good spirits and good health. Kitty on the other hand, has his brains.

Clive - It is all right Kitty. And this are excellent. I feel so much better. If you knew what it was to be in England

Kitty - Is Greece not nice?

Clive - Horrible.

Kitty - Maurice said you'd like Greece.

Clive - Maurice doesn't know.

Kitty - I'm happy you are back.

(door closes)

Ada - Maurice is home.

Maurice - Clive? Get out of all that, Clive. Why did you let them? I say he looks well. You look well. Come and have a drink. No, girls, not you.

Maurice - Why didn't you answer my letters? Don't you love me any more?

Clive - All that must be tomorrow.

Maurice - Quite so. Have a drink.

Clive - Maurice I don't want a row.

Maurice - I do. I want a row, and I'll have it.

Maurice - Why didn't you write?

Maurice - What secrets are you keeeping from me?

Clive - I was trying to work things out, and I couldn't explain in a letter

Maurice - One oughtn't to have secrets, or they get worse. One ought to talk.

Maurice - Oh. Talk, talk. Provided one has someone to talk to, as you and I have.

Clive - I've thought about this solidly for the last month and a half. We've got to change.

Maurice - Can the leopard change his spots? Clive, you are in a muddle. What is it you're afraid to tell me? Surely we've got past sparing each other. We can't trust anyone else. You and I are outlaws. All this would be taken away if people knew

Clive - Precisely. By continuing like this, you and I are risking everything we have, our carrers, our families, our names.

Maurice - Balls! I don't give a damn about name. What sort of life would I have without you? I risk everything, and gladly, because the only thing I dread losing is you. You are the only happiness there is for me.

Clive - There are other ways to be happy, you know. We could explore those a little.

Maurice - Not for me.

Clive - Maurice, think how easy life is for people who don't have to go through all this. This secrecy. Never being able to talk about the person whom you are in love with to anybody. Always being asked when you are getting married and having every bloody girl paraded in front of you because your family is so desperate.

Maurice - You want to get married, is that it? You are in love with some girl? Who is it?

Clive - No one. But don't you think it would be wonderful if there were someone I could care about in the same way that I do about you?

Maurice - We love each other

Clive - For God's sake, hold your tongue for a moment. If I were in love with anyone know, then it would be with some nice girllike Ada.

Maurice - Ada?

Clive - I take her for an example.

Maurice - You scarcely know Ada.

Clive - Don't be so stupid try to understand. We must change. I like you enormously, more than any man I've ever met

Maurice - Did you say something to Ada just before I came in? You didn't hear my car come up? Why didn't you and Ada come out?

Clive - Don't start to cross-examine me about your sister

Maurice - Why not.

Clive - You must shut up and concentrate Maurice.

Maurice - Ada?

Clive - What for?

Maurice - Ada!

Clive - Maurice, no. It mustn't end in a row.

Maurice - Give me the key! Leave it!

Clive - Maurice, don't make it worse.

Maurice - I didn't mean to. Did I hurt you.

Clive - I'm all right.

Maurice - What an ending. What an ending!

(Ada) - Maurice?

Maurice - What's going to happen to me? I'm done for.

Ada - Maurice? Clive?

Clive - Ada.

Ada -What's the matter?

Clive - Nothing. It's fine.

Ada - What's happened to your lip?

Clive - It is perfectly all right. Just fooling about.


Clive - Maurice don't be an ass.

I guess that it means he is fine.

Maurice ( to Ada ) - What's the matter with you?

Ada - Nothing

Maurice - Yes, there is. I can see it. You can't take me in.

Ada - No, really, Maurice it is nothing.

Maurice - Why.. What did he say?

Ada - Nothing.

Maurice - Who say nothing?

Ada - Clive. He said nothing.

Maurice - Clive, is it?

What is Mr Durham to you? Answer.

She weeps

Maurice - Do you want to know what he told me just now when I accused him of making love to you behind all our backs?

Ada - What?

Maurice - When I hit him?

Ada - No, Maurice.

Maurice - he said that you threw yourself at him, that you try to corrupt him. He complained that you made advances to him. That, that's why he would not stay. That's why he has gone back to town. You, you have the satisfaction of breaking up our friendship, at least.

Ada - you have always been unkind to us. Always.

Maurice - it's not my fault


Voice - stop! Remember, step back.

(Man) - you want to turn him.

A man to Maurice - That's good of you, sir. There ain't many City gents who would give up their Saturdays. Good night sir.

A boy - good night, sir.

Mrs Hall (reading a letter) - Children, Clive Durham is engaged to be married.

How friendly of his mother to tell me.

Kittie - Who is she?

Mrs Hall - Lady Anne Woods. You can read it yourself later. He met her in Greece. Lady Anne Woods daughter of Sir H. Woods.

Kittie - oh, mother you got it wrong. What Mrs Durham wrote is, I will now tell you the name of the lady, Anne Woods daughter of Sir H. Woods

Ada - Do you know her Maurice?

Maurice - Oh yes.

Waitress - Mr Chapman, Miss Hall.

Ada - thank you.

Maurice - Ada, Ada I behave badly to you after Clive's last visit. He never said those things I let you think he said. He never blamed you.

Ada - I did not care whether he did. It does not signifies. I love Arthur now

Maurice - Chapman's a good fellow. For two people in love to marry strikes me as a very jolly. I wish you happiness.


man - hello

(man) - Mr Hall, please.

Man - Hall, Hall! For you.

Maurice - hello?

Clive - Hello, Maurice.

Maurice - Argentine Northern Land's gone up again.

Man - Up six.

Maurice - Hello?

(Clive) - Hello, Maurice? You will have heard my news.

Maurice - yes but you did not write so I did'nt.

(Clive) - Quite so. The wedding is next month. You will be an usher.

Maurice - Best of luck.

(Clive) - Anne wants to talk, too.

Anne - I'm Anne Woods.

(Maurice) - My name is Mr Hall.

Maurice - Maurice Christopher Hall.

(Anne) - I'm Anne Clare Wilbraham Woods, but I can't think of anything to say. You are the eighth friend of Clive's I've spoken to this morning.

Maurice - Eighth?

(Anne) - Yes, the eighth. I will give Clive a turn.

(Clive) - Maurice, would you invest Anne's money for her?

Maurice - Certainly. What sort of thing?

(Clive) - Whatever you fancy.

Anne - I'm not supposed to fancy more than 4%.

Maurice - Barclay Perkins Brewing and Distillers. They are at 5%.

(Maurice) - The Argentine Northern Land. They have gone up a sixth. Lands investments.

Anne - I like the last one best.

Maurice - Very well. Send the cheque here.

(Clive) - Can't you come down to Pendersleigh next week? It's short notice, but later everything will be chaotic.

Maurice- I can't do that. Hill is getting married, too. Thing are more or less busy here. And after that Chapman is marrying Ada.

Clive - Well, come in Septembernot October, because that's the bar electioncome in September and see us through that cricket match.

Maurice - All right. You had better write nearer the time.

Clive - Right. Goodbye, then, Maurice.

Anne - Goodbye.

(Maurice) - Bye.

Doctor - I haven't even got a consulting room.

Maurice - It is an illness too awfully intimate for Jowitt. You are the only doctor alive I dare to tell.

Doctor - A secret trouble, eh? Excuse me my dear. Won't be a moment. Come along with me.

They enter a room

Maurice weeps

Dr - Now, take your time, and remember of course, that this is professional. Nothing you say will ever reach your mother's ears.

Maurice - It is about women.

Dr - Well, we'll soon fix that up.

Maurice - Fix it, for God's sake. I'm done for.

Dr - Don't be afraid of me. Now, when did you catch the beastly thing?

Maurice - It is nothing as filthy as that. In my own wrong way, I've kept myself clean.

Dr - Oh well. Let's have a look.

(knock on door)

(woman) - Is that you in there, Dr Barry?

Dr Barry - It is all right, Ettie. I'm in here.

Dr Barry visits Maurice.

Dr Barry - You are all right.

Maurice - What do you mean, sir, by all right?

Dr Barry - What I say. You are a clean man. Nothing wrong with you down there. You could marry tomorrow if you like. If you would take an old's man advice, you will. Cover up, now. It's drafty. What put all this into your head?

Maurice - You have never guessed. I'm like Claude Risley. I'm am an unspeakable, of the Oscar Wilde sort.

Dr Barry - Rubbish. Rubbish.

Maurice - Dr Barry, I can't have explained.

Dr Barry - Maurice never let that evil hallucination, that temptation from the Devil occur to you again. Who put that lie into your head? You, whom I know to be a decent fellow.

Maurice - Dr Barry..

Dr Barry - No, sir, I'll not discuss.

Maurice - I've been like this ever since I can remember, without knowing why. Am I a deseased? If I am I want to be cure.

Dr Barry - find yourself a pretty young woman. She will soon cure you. It is unspeakable. Come. Dress yourself.

Maurice - Oh yes. I'm sorry.

Dr Barry - Ettie. Whisky.




(voice) - Mine!

(Birds squawking)

(Man) Bullseye. One less bunny-wunny for Durham to lose sleep over. Oh, buck up, man. Corpore sano. Look up. Mine! Damn!

Scudder - Do you gentlemen wish to continue shooting? The mist is coming down.

Man - I supposed he thinks it's our fault. (To Maurice)

Man - Very well Scudder. We may as well pack it in. We bring the game book up to the house.

Man - Cheer up, old man. What has got into you.

Maurice - Would you believe it's my birthday?

Man - Good Lord, is it really? I say, old man, many happy returns. Durham never mentioned it at all.

Maurice - Durham's far too busy canvassing.

Maurice - let's toast it in chisky.

Man - That's more like it.

Simcox - Telegram arrived for you at midday, sir.

Maurice - Oh, thank you, Simcox.

Man - There, you see? Durham did remember your birthday.

Maurice - Shall we have that drink.

Man - Two large chimskies, Simcox.

Simcox - Very good, sir.

Maurice reads the telegram

Maurice - I think I may have to go to town with you tomorrow.

Man - Poor old fellow, what a pity! We might have had more shooting.

(Man) - Nothing wrong is there?

(Maurice) - No, no only business.

Scudder - Happy birthday sir.

Anne - Hello. Did you have a good day shooting?

Maurice - oh, frightful!

Anne - It's rude of Clive to have been here so little, but he is working so hard. I think it would be good for the poor if he gets in. He's their best friend.

Maurice - Can't worry so much about the poor. They don't suffer as we should in their    place.

Anne - You see we are in the hands of the right sort of stockbroker.

Oh yes, the Reverend Borenius is here for dinner. Do you know him? He will scold Clive about the tenants' housing. Now he would say they want love.

Maurice - No doubts, but they won't get in.

Anne - Mr Hall I scold Clive to be cynical, but you are being horrible.

Maurice - I get used to being horrible. The poor get used to slums. You get used to your particular hole. Everyone yaps at first. I've had a telegram I must go to town tomorrow.

Anne - Not bad news, I hope.

Maurice - No.

Anne - Well, in that case, it must be an amorous intrigue.

Anne - Maurice has to go back to London tomorrow.

(Clive) - What?

Anne -That's what he told me.

Clive - He just arrived.

Anne - He had a telegram. He's being awfully secretive.

Clive - well, he's being impossible. What about the cricket.

Anne - I rather like him. I've a private notion he is in love. I think he has a little girl up in London.


(Mrs Durham) - Your hand, Pippa.

(Archie) - Darling

Pippa - It's all right Archie. I'll manage. Mr Borenius, your turn.

Mrs Durham - The family ghost. There is the sweetest little hole in the ceiling.

Pippa - Clive can leave it?

Clive - Well, we shall have to, but let's move the pianoforte, because I don't think it's going to stand much more.

Archie - Clive, how about a saucer? Once rain came trough the ceiling of the Club. I rang the bell and the servant brought a saucer.

Clive - I ring and the servant brings me nothing.

Anne - I knew this beastly present would come in use.

Clive - Milly, bring a basin and a duster, will you? And get one of the men to help shift the piano.

Mrs Durham - We had to ring twice. Twice.

Scudder enters the room.

(Archie) - It's got wet under the sounding board.

(Anne) - Can't make it sound worse than it does.

(Clive) - Scudder, shift the piano and take up the carpet. Tomorrow you'd better attack that roof. Well, there we are, everybody. We better leave them to it.

Anne - before we get carried away on the flood tide.

Mrs Durham - Pippa, tell Simcox to bring out my nightcap.

Clive - the cellar will be awash by now. Why is my house falling down? Maurice, you coming up?

(Archie) - A saucer would have done the job.

(Man) - How very kind of you.

(Scudder) - Down there. A little bit more. Down, down. Someone will get up in the night and change the bowl.


Maurice - (writing) - As soon as my body developed, the obscene imaginings began. I thought that some individual curse had descended on me. My schooling was poor enough. A terrific scandal there before my arrival meant that we were drilled all day and policed all night. I had little chance, therefore, to talk about such experiences with my school fellows. I am the only son in my f.

(Door opens)


Clive - Oh, Maurice, I'm glad. Well , it's the greatest thing on earth perhaps the only one. Anne guessed as much. Aren't women extraordinary? Oh, Maurice. It's what I've always wished for you.

Maurice - I know you have.

Clive - You don't mind if I tell her. Only Anne, of course.

Maurice - No. Tell everyone.

Clive - You don't mind?

Maurice - No.

Clive - I just wanted to show you I had not forgotten the past. But I agree. Let's not mention it again.

Maurice - All right.

Clive - Aren't you glad it's all ended properly?

Maurice - How properly?

Clive - Well, instead of that muddle last year.

Maurice - With you.

Clive - Quits? Then I'll go.

Maurice kissed his hand.

Clive - Come back here as soon as you can, won't you?

(Door closes)

Clive - I've been talking to Maurice. You were right.

Anne - I told you he had something up his sleeve.

Maurice - Make you sure the tarpaulin covers the cover.

Archie - I think he is after a tip.

Maurice - Tell him to boil his head.

Archie - I offered him five shillings. He wouldn't take it.

Anne - Best of luck. I'm so glad you are not really horrible.

Maurice - Are you?

Anne - Goodbye dear Maurice.

Maurice - You gave him more, I suppose.

Maurice (to Scudder) - Five shillings not good enough? You'll only take gold?

Maurice - Clive!

Clive - You are coming back soon. Good luck.

Maurice - Thanks old man.

Archie - Cheerio, old man.

Clive - Archie, goodbye.

Archie - Thank you Simcox.

Anne (to Clive) - I do wish I knew the girl's name.


The hypnotist - You're not quite off yet.

Maurice - No. I'm not.

Maurice - I'm nearer off now.

The hypnotist - How do you like my consulting room?

Maurice - it's a nice room.

The hypnotist - Not too dark.

Maurice - Rather dark.

The hypnotist -You can see the picture on the wall ahead of you?

Come nearerMr Hall. That care of that crack in the carpet, though.

Maurice - How broad is that crack?

The hypnotist - You can jump it.

Maurice moves his legs as in a jump.

The hypnotist - Admirable! Now, what do you suppose this picture is of? Whom is it of? Here..it is.Miss..Edna May.

Maurice - I want to go home to my mother.

The hypnotist - Miss Edna May is beatiful. She is attractive.

Maurice - She is not attractive to me.

The hypnotist - What an ungallant remark. Oh, Mr Hall. Look at herlovely hair.

Maurice - I like short hair best.

The hypnotist - Why?

Maurice - Becausebecause.. (He weeps)

Maurice - Did it get anywhere near?

The hypnotist - You're open to suiggestion. I made you see a picture on the bare wall.

Maurice - I'dI'd like another appointment.

The hypnotist - Telephone me in two weeks. In the meantime take exercise in moderation..a little tennis, stroll around with a gun. Go back to the country.

Maurice - It seems rather foolish to make that trip twice in one day.


Maurice - Hey, old fellow.

Clive - Good Lord, you did rush back. What a shame. We're just off electroneering overnight.

Mr Borenius - But I understand from you that all your servants had been confirmed.

Mrs Durham - I thought so. I did think so, Mr Borenius.

Mr Borenius - The trouble is, Mrs Durham, that even if the Bishop can be prevailed upon, I have not time to prepare him before he sails.

Mrs Durham - Mr Hall, Simcox informed us that you'd returned. You're in time for dinner. Did you have a successful trip?

Maurice - That remains to be seen.

Mrs Durham - Dinner jacket is enough tonight. I'm afraid we're only three.


Maurice - Partdon me, sir. Will the gentlemen be shooting tomorrow?

Scudder - I don't think so.

Maurice - Obviously not, it's the cricket match.

Scudder - I'm sure, sir, I'm very sorry if I failed to give you and Mr London full satisfaction, sir.

Maurice - That's all right, Scudder.

Scudder - Glad to see you down again so soon, sir.

Maurice - That's all right Scudder.

(Mrs Durham) - Scudder suddenly sprang his notice on Clive. His brother has found him a job in the Argentine. His brother has got him the fare, so off he goes.

Simcox - The underkeeper wonders whether you have orders.

Maurice - I saw him before dinner, Simcox. Nothing, thanks. Tomorrow is the match. I did tell him.

Simcox - He wonders whether the gentlemen wish to bathe, sir. He is just bailed out the boat.

Maurice - If that is Scudder, tell him I'll speak to him directly.

Scudder - Good night, sir.

Maurice - Oh. Scudder. Good night. They tell me you're emigrating.

Scudder - That's my idea sir.

Maurice - Well, good luck to you.

Scudder - Thank you, sir. Seems rather strange.

Maurice - The Argentine, I understand.

Scudder - That's right, sir. Have you ever visited it yourself, sir?

Maurice - No. No, England for me.

Scudder - 'Night, sir.

Maurice - Good night.

Simcox - I'm off then, easy start tomorrow. Only Mr Hall's pleasure to wait upon. Mr Hall is a gentleman.

Maurice can't sleep. Scudder enters the room.

Scudder - I've seen you calling to me, sir. That's right I know, sir. Come on. Lie down.

Scudder - Sir, the church has struck.

Maurice - You'll have to release me.

Scudder - Maurice.

Maurice - I'm Maurice.

Scudder - There's the cricket pitch and I have to help roll for the match. Mr London dived splak into the water lilies. They told me that all young gentlemen learn to dive and I never learned to. It seems more natural-like not to let your head go under the water. I call that drowning before your day.

Maurice - I was taught I'd be ill if I didn't get my hair wet.

Scudder - Well, you was taught what wasn't the case.

Maurice - Alec, do you ever dream you had a friend, someone to last your whole life?

Simcox arrives.

Simcox - Nice day, sir. Nice day for the match. He moved that ladder away at last, I see. About time. Now, sir, what will you wear, I wonder? Will you put your cricketing flannels on straight away?

Maurice - All right.

Simcox - Oh, sir, in Mr Durham's absence, the servants feel we should be so honoured if you would captain us for the match.

Maurice - I'm no cricketer, Simcox. Who's your best bat?

Simcox - there's none better than the under-gamekeeper, sir. Scudder, sir.

Maurice - Them make Scudder captain.

Simcox - Pity, sir. Things always go better with a gentleman captain.

Maurice - Tell him to put me to field deep, and I won't bat first. Tell him, as I shan't be down till it's time.

Simcox - Very good, sir.

Simcox - Oh dear, sir. Mud on the carpet. I'll send someone up.


Woman - The captain's put himself into the bat first. Clive Durham would never have done that. Little points interest me.

Maurice - he's our best man apparently.

Woman - I've an instinct the man is conceited.

Woman - He's lasted well. He's playing more carefully this year.

Maurice - That's me.

Woman - I do begin to see what you mean.

Woman - Well with a haircut.

Man - Jolly well done, Hall. Well done.

Mrs Durham ( to Clive ) - Scudder is holding the fort for you. He is doing rather well.

Clive - I suppose I'd better play for a bit. Please these people.

Maurice - Clive.

Clive - Maurice.

Maurice - Are you exhausted?

Clive - I've had meetings till midnight, another this afternoon, but I'm back tonight and then your visit begins.

Man - Now, gentlemen we stand rebuked to the Olympic games.

Clive - Sorry Maurice, sorry.

Mrs Durham - Well played, Mr Hall.

Maurice - Thank you.

Maurice - What sort of man was that keeper of yours that captained us?

Clive - Scudder? He is a little bit smart, but Anne would say I'm being unfair. You can't expect our standard of honesty in servants.

Maurice - What sort of background did he have?

Clive - Wasn't his father the butcher at Osmington? Yes, I think so. Is your head feeling rotten again? Putrid. I do wish you'd think of Pendersleigh as your second home. Just treat it like an hotel. Come and go when you like. That doesn't matter if I'm home or not. Anne feels as I do.

Scudder writing a letter - Pretend to the other gentlemen that you want a stroll. It is easily managed. Then come down to the boathouse. Dear sir, let me share with you once before leaving old England. If it's not asking so much.

The hypnotist - You're resisting me.

Maurice - damn it, I'm not.

The hypnotist - You're less suggestible than you were.

Maurice - Don't give up.

The hypnotist - I don't propose to. I did remind you that your sort were once put to death in England. I would advise you to live in some country France, Italy, where homosexuality is no longer criminal.

Maurice - Would it ever be like that in England?

The hypnotist - England has always been disinclined to accept human nature.

Maurice - I've not told you the whole truth.

The hypnotist - No, Mr Hall?

Maurice - Since I was here., I went wrong with the gamekeeper. I'm terrified. Apparently, he is quite smart to do so. I have an idea that's what's stopping me from going into a trance. He sent me a letter, you see. Read it.

The hypnotist reading the letter - Come to the boathouse. I have key and will let you in.

Maurice - No doubt he has a duplicate key and an accomplice waiting at the house.

The hypnotist - " I, since cricket match, long to place both arms around you. The above now seems sweeter than words can say. Mind and write if you don't come, for I get no sleep waiting. So come without fail to boathouse Pendersleigh tomorrow night. Yours respectfully, Alec Scudder, gamekeeper toC. Durham, Esquire.

Maurice - I'm walking on a volcano. He's an uneducated man, but he has got me in his power. Will he have a case in court?

The hypnotist - I'm no lawyer. You'd have to consult your solicitor.


The hypnotist - My children playing overhead.

Maurice - How did a country lad like that know? Why did he come to me that one night when I was at my weakest?


Man - There we are, sir.

Man - Just a moment. Ticket, please.

Scudder - Maurice.

Maurice - What brings you to London, Scudder?

Scudder - My brother and I have, um, some business here. You ought to know what it is.

Maurice - I'll be right to you, sir. Let me have a word Scudder. Something's up with the mission.

Scudder - Scudder, is it? " Alec you're a dear fellow," you said. What mission. Are you ashamed to be seen with me? You're not glad anyway.

Maurice - Of course, I'm glad.

Scudder - Then why didn't you come to the boathouse? I waited two nights

Maurice - I'm sure you could tell me a good many things, Alec.

Scudder - I know about you and Mr Durham.

Maurice laughs.

Scudder - This is your office, is it? What do you do here?

Maurice - You shouldn't treat me like a dog.

Scudder - You was just amusing yourself. I never come like that to a gentleman before. You said, " call me Maurice," but you never even wrote to me. You made a fool of me and I can make you sorry for it

Scudder - He is big enough isn't it? They must have owned wonderful machinery to make a thing like that.

Maurice - I expect so. Mine's got five legs.

Scudder - So does mine. It's a peculiar notion when you think about it. It won't do Mr Hall. I know what you're doing. You'd do better to settle this. You've had your fun, now you've got to pay up. I'll leave you to think it over.

Surely, surely you're an old boy at Mr Abrahams' school. Now don't tell me your name. I want to remember. I shall remember. You're not Colgan, Smith, I know you're Whitman, yes?

Maurice - I'm Scudder.

Scudder - Isn't. I'm Mr Scudder. I've got a serious charge to bring against this gentleman.

Maurice - Yes awfully serious.

Man - Goodness. I am really most frightfully sorry. I do beg your pardon. I seldom make a mistake. Remarkable place, isn't it? Not just a collection of relics. It's a place which could stimulate the mind of the .

Maurice - less fortunate.

Man - Quite so. To ask questions which one, no doubt inadequately, tries to

Woman - Ben, we're waiting.

Man - Uh, yes. Quite so. I excuse me.

Scudder - I shan't trouble you any further.

Maurice - Where are you going with your serious charge?

Scudder - I don't know what came over me.

Maurice - Blackmail.

Scudder - No, Maurice. Listen..

Maurice - Maurice, am I?

Scudder - You called me Alec. I'm as good as you.

Maurice - I don't find you are. By God, if you'd split on me to Ducie, I would have broken you. Might have cost me hundreds, but I've got them. The police always back my sort against yours. As good as I? Come outside.

Scudder - It rained even harder than this at the boathouse. It was even colder. Why did you not come.

Maurice - I was frightened. And you let yourself get afraid of me. That's why we're trying to down each other.

Scudder - I wouldn't take a penny from you. I don't want to hurt your little finger. Come on, let's give over talking. Hear, stop with me, sleep the night with me.

Maurice - I can't. I've got an engagement. Formal business dinner. It's my job. Meet me another evening instead?

Scudder - Oh, I can't come to London again. My father or Mr Borenius will be passing remarks.

Maurice - What does it matter if they do?

Scudder - What does your engagement matter?

Scudder - The first time I seed you, I thought, "I wish I had that one." You're so. You're the only good thing that's happened to me at Pendersleigh. "Scudder do this, Scudder do that." The old lady says, "would you most kindly post this for me? What's your name?" Every day for bloody 18 months, I came for orders and the old bitch don't know my name. I said to her, "what's your name? Fuck your name!" nearly did too. I wish I had. And you too grand to come to the boathouse. Oh, my man. Five shillings not good enough for you? You've no idea how you nearly missed getting me.

Maurice - Boathouse was a place I always fancied.

Scudder - I still got the key now, matter of fact.

Maurice - We'll meet in your boathouse yet.

Scudder - No, we won't.   You'll remember that, any road. Tomorrow is Thursday. Friday's packing, Saturday's Southampton. So it's "Goodbye, old England".

Maurice - You mean that you and I shan't meet again after now?

Scudder - That's right. You got it quite correct.

Maurice - Stay with me.

Scudder - Stay? You miss my boat you daft? Of all the bloody rubbish. Order me about again, you would.

Maurice - It's a chance in a thousand we met. You know it. Why don't you stay?

Scudder - Stay with you? How? And where? With your ma? What would she say if she saw me, all rough and ugly the way I am? My people wouldn't take to you one bit. And I don't blame them. And how would you run your job?

Maurice - I shall chuck it.

Scudder - Your job that give you money and position? You talk like a man who's never had to earn his living.

Maurice - You can do anything, once you know what it is, you can live without money, without people. You can live without position. We're not fools. We're both strong. There'd be someplace we could go.

Scudder - We wouldn't work, Maurice. It would be the ruin of us both. Can't you see? Well I'm off. Pity we ever met, really, if you think about it. You paid for this room in advance, didn't you? They won't stop me downstairs?

Maurice - you'll be all right.

(Door closes)

Maurice - Wait here.

The driver - Yes, sir.

A policeman - Good afternoon.

Maurice - Oh, yes. I've come to see a passenger off, Alec Scudder.

Policeman - Ah, the Scudders. Yes I believe they're up there, sir.

Maurice - Right. Thank you very much.

Scudder's father - Plenty of time yet.

Scudder's mother - Oh, he won't be late. If Alec says something, he means it.

Scudder's brother - He can be late if he likes. I can manage without him.

Maurice - Mr Scudder? You must be Alec Scudder's brother. I've come to see him off.

Alec's brother - Alec ain't aboard yet, but his kit is. Interested to see his kit?

Maurice - No, no. Don't you worry. I'll just wait with you, if I may. My name is Maurice Hall.

Priest - Good afternoon, Mr Hall. This is kind of you Mr Hall. I could hardly believe my eyes when I saw you among his friends here.

Alec's brother - Family. My parents, and I'm his brother, Frederick Scudder, purveyor of the inn, at your service.

Mr Borenius - I'm Mr Borenius. Alec is one of my parishioners. I've come to give you a letter of introduction to an Anglican priest in Buenos Aires.

Alec's mother - Very kind of you, sir.

Mr Borenius - How did you know so precisely when the boat sailed?

Maurice - it was advertised.

Mr Borenius - May I speak frankly to you? I am far from easy about Scudder. The fact is he has been guilty of sensuality with women. It's not just the deed of fornication. When the nation went a-whoring, they invariably ended up by denying God. Until all sexual irregularities are penal, the Church will never again reconquer England. I have reason to believe Scudder spent Tuesday night in London fornicating. I'm telling you all this because of your charitable interest in him. Surely he wouldn't have missed his train? They wouldn't leave without him.

Alec's brother - he's bloody well missed his bleeding train.

Mr Borenius - Gentlemen, gentlemen, I do assure you, Mr Scudder was booked for the passage.


Maurice - Clive, don't tell Anne I'm here, i've only a few minutes.

Clive - What? Look here me. That's fantastic. She'll be furious if you don't stay. Maurice, I hope nothing's wrong.

Maurice - Pretty well everything. You would think so.

Clive - Very well. I'm at your service. My advice, though, is to sleep here tonight and ask Anne in the morning. Where a woman is in question, it's always better to ask another woman.

Maurice - I'm not here to see you Anne, or you, Clive. It's miles worse than you. I'm in love with Alec Scudder.

Clive - What a grotesque announcement.

Maurice - Most grotesque. But I felt I ought to tell you.

Clive - Maurice, you and I thrashed out that subject.

Maurice - When you brought yourself to kiss my hand?

Clive - Don't allude to that. Come in here. I'm more sorry for you that I can possibly say, and I do beg you to resist the return of this obsession.

Maurice - I don't need advice. I'm flesh and blood, Clive, if you'll condescend to such low things. I shared with Alec.

Clive - You shared. Then what?

Maurice - Everything. Alec slept with me in the Russet room when you and Anne were away.

Clive - Oh, good God.

Maurice - Also in town.

Clive - The sole excuse for any relationship between two men is that it remains only platonic. Surely we agreed that?

Maurice - I don't know. I've come to tell you what I did.

Clive - Well, Alec Scudder is, in point of fact, no longer in my service. In fact, he's no loger in England. He sailed for Buenos Aires this very day.

Maurice - He didn't. He sacrified his career for my sake, without a guarantee. I don't know whether that's platonic of him or not, but it's what he did.

Clive - Scudder missed his boat? Maurice you're going mad. May I ask if you intend..

Maurice - No! You may not ask. I'll tell you everything up to this minute, not a word beyond.

Maurice - Alec? Alec?

Alec - So you got the wire?

Maurice - What wire?

Alec - The wire I sent to your house. I said I knew..oh sorry. I'm a bit tired, what with one thing and another. Telling you to come here to the boathouse Pendersleigh without fail. Now we shan't never be parted. It's finished.

Simcox - Will that be all, sir?

Clive - Yes. Thank you, Simcox.

Simcox - Good night, sir.

Clive - Good night.

Clive's looking out of the window.

Anne - who were you talking to?

Clive - No one. I was just trying out a speech.


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